Sitting on my couch watch Lance continuously reminding me that real men exist. Watching this makes me miss Texas. My mom, Grandma Punker-Doodle, and I went to Austin a few years ago for the Tour de Roses race/ LiveSTRONG convention. The amazement of seeing Lance and Robin Williams (my favorite actor) in real life closely rivaled the amazement my ma and I felt watching a herd of cyclists gracefully doge my gram as she absent-mindedly (mildly retardedly) strolled across the road to get an orange juice. Once ma and I asked her what was (or wasn't) going through her mind as she ventured against 20 or so men with crazy thigh muscles and 3% body fat she said "well, they should know to let a little old lady get some juice!" She's a spunky one.
Visited my pop today. I need furniture for my house and he has plenty to spare. It's unsettling that even after five years, I still get choked up being in that house. My Gramma Pat took exquisite care of everything (and everyone) she loved. I decided to use her desk and one of her green easy chairs (that I used to sit in all the time while she's do her hair and plead with my to at least brush mine just once) for my new room. I miss her still. And what's worse, my pop misses her every day, all alone with the dog in that house that used to be filled all the time. I can't always be there for him, something that would eat at me if I didn't know how much he goes out. He has scheduled weekly gatherings with his friends all the time and keeps busy. I put his doo-wop classics cd in the stereo, turned it up so he wouldn't feel inclined to put his hearing aid in (he refuses), and baked a cake for him and his friends to have for their poker night tonight. My dad said it was a hit and my pop bragged to everyone about how I stayed all day.
So, I've been thinking... I always consider summer a time for self-improvement. You know, work on identifying and improving my flaws yadda yadda focus on me and putting myself first yadda yadda yadda. But, tending to my own needs is only part of it. I find myself feeling much fuller when I make my family (friends included, because, well that's understood) happy. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to stay home for this summer, but I just had a feeling that I should. Then I got to spend more time with the people that I love to tears. People I don't get to see too much during the school year. My Gramma Pat never EVER put herself first and she was one of the best people I know. And Jo-Anne, my neighbor and lifetime confidante! I get to sit on her patio with her and the new babies, drinking pepsi, and talking about everything. I love home. I'm FINALLY realizing that in addition to my ambitions, my blessings are just as fulfilling of an indulgence. Life is good.
Title Fight left for their big cross-country tour today. I miss em already!
I've been extremely emotional lately. On the verge of tears just about all the time without any clue as to the source.
AND I'm currently writing my own audition monologues. Those judges haven't read every play there is so they'll either nod and say "ah yes, I've heard of it" or say "hmmm should check that out". Either way they'll forget about the play my non-published self-written monologue was pulled from as soon as they look in the mirror or take a poo. I'm tired so it's time for bed.
OH, but! I wish I had balls, speaking metaphorically of course, when it came to boys. AND I wish I had more access to testing my metaphoric and possibly phantom flirting balls on MEN and not boyz.
No comments:
Post a Comment