Do You Believe in Life After Love? afterloveafterloveafterlove

Hi Philadelphia! I'm going to be in you for a while now. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.



A few highlights from the past 24 hours:

1. In rehearsal with Maurice and Mr. Richardson, I had to face one of the most terrifying challenges of my week: being dipped. Though I couldn't say it to his face, Mo has skinny arms and I have more gravitational pull than he's used to dealing with (his girlfriend is roughly 95lbs). So when he finally dipped me, I bit my lip in an honest attempt to refrain from screaming. However, in biting my lip, my face contorted into what some may consider to resemble a retarded gremlin. He laughed, breaking his focus, and we both hit the floor. Indiana, PA aint ready for this flava, SUCKAAAA!


2. Slept until 3pm this afternoon. In my sleep I had a dream. I dreamt that Kenan Thompson took me on a date to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Actually, I had a dream that he said he was going to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel and I told him the Ritz was on my way home and just invited myself in with him. Either way, I had to change my skivvies when I woke up. Wait, what?


3. Finally ventured out into the biting Philadelphia air to get a coffee and travel shampoo bottles around 5pm. The new Sunoco is so classy! I saw that they had Hazelnut flavored freshly brewed coffee and got all sorts of tingles in all sorts of places. I tried for a minute or so to get the coffee out of the machine (trying all sorts of tactics like calling it a dumb cunt, rubbing it and telling it it was the only spout for me then calling it a dumb cunt again) the cashier came over and told me only the house blend was available at the time but that they offered hazelnut creamer. Yay! Coffee in hand, caffeine-withdrawal headache subsiding, I started towards CVS. While waiting for the light to turn green and the friendly little orange unisex figure to signal me to walk, a man asked me for directions to Pat's Steaks. He had an accent and it took me a minute and a few "Huh?"s to finally translate pazztakes to pat's steaks. A bum in camo who witnessed this whole exchange wished me good tidings as I crosses Washington Avenue just in time to see the CVS doors lock. Damn. I didn't want to turn around and walk past the bum so I kept going forward, hoping 9th street Rite Aid would still be open. I turned onto Carpenter and heard someone behind me. Now, I was alone at night in the city. So I decided I should use the advice the campus safety police provided to us in a student-wide email. I quickened my pace, took out my phone, found the first house that looked like someone was inside. Veering off to the right to stand in front of the house I acted like I was calling someone inside to let me in. At this point my "follower" would be (according to campus safety officials) warned off by my social connections. I wish I could tell you that my plan worked. However, my "follower" was, in fact, an upsettingly handsome-yet-still-rugged man that seemed to be of Latin or Native American decent. Tall. Dark. Handsome. The exchange went something like this:

Him: Howdy!
Me: Good! How ar- ugh, I mean... Hi!
Him: (walking up the stairs to the house I was standing in front of) You looking for Chris?
Me: What? Who's- oh, no... I didn't know who was behind me so I acted like I knew who lived here because I was scared.
Him: (silence)
Me: hah. bye. (walking away, hitting head with free hand) stupid! stupid!

Luckily, Rite Aid was open! As I was decided which travel shampoo bottle I wanted, Faith Hill came on the radio and I just started crying. My mom hates Faith Hill and is always the one to take care of travel-sized hygiene product packing. But then I saw cat toys and decided I'd get some for Ophy. I was still semi-teary as the cute ex-con checked me out (rung me up sounds dirty) and gave me a Rite Aid Frequent Shoppers Monopoly game pamphlet and all my tears dried right up! Then I came home, watched 30 Rock as I cleaned and rearranged my room, Ophy farted on my bed and spilled my water on my clothes, and is currently passed out next to me. It's the little things, ya know?